Gordon Brittas at Christmas
Gordon's Christmas and New Year Message.
Christmas can be a wonderful thing. I am Gordon Brittas the manager of the leisure
Christmas to help our local needy. The people in Whitbury know what busy job
I have and
it is especially true at this time
of year. I go round to the local charity houses and offer my services. They all
have to turn me down saying that the leisure centre needs me and think what would
happen if I were
away. They say they will struggle on and maybe next year or sometimes they give
me another charity's address. It's good to have a purpose or as I call it, The
Dream. It is also good that they realise the role of manager of the Whitbury
leisure centre is a tough one.
My main purpose is of course the Leisure Center. At Christmas our doors
are flung open, well, actually held open, usually by little wedges and
the fire extinguishers as I've seen
in so many public buildings. I have made several formal complaints and reports
on the misuse of fire fighting equipment. I have been told they will
regarding my report, the
day Hell freezes over. You just can not seem to help some people. This has
nothing to do with Christmas, but, it's still very important.
So, back to my Christmas messafe, I must first say a big sorry to all those
people who saw the Leisure Centre nativity. Fortunately the primary school
quickly returned to
their school before the trio of winos offered their bottles among them. Plus
I must thank the Whitbury Police for taking them and the gang of thugs away
Leisure Centre lost too
much weight lifting equipment. I will have to say this whole disaster was
my fault. I had a brief lapse of sanity and agreed to let Colin deal with the
with my Seasonal Charity
work. Colin although good and kind hearted hearted has the IQ of
a garden fork. The fork is a good worker, but, only while it's in the hands
am the craftsman and
Colin is the fork. Well, being short of Staff this week, Tim and Gavin were
on a course in Reading on the importance of using the correct coloured pen
for the correct report, Linda
and Laura therefore could not be spared at this time.
Colin had resorted to giving himself the job of the Virgin Mary. I still have
no idea, what possessed him into this thought. This meant he needed three wise
men. He found three elderly gentlemen enjoying a
drink at 9.20 am in
the local park, yes, he had found himself three drunks. Still left with a few
parts vacant for Shepherds he saw a gang of bikers. He suggested they should
join him to perform the
play. I think you image where this is heading.
When the School Teacher entered
with her happy children, she was greeted to the site of a Transvestite Virgin
Mary, the Wise men offering the gift of
vomit and alcohol to the
baby Jesus (One of Ben's action man toys) and the a bunch of leather clad
teenagers pulling up every valuable piece of sports item in the hall that
we had. Laura
did the only thing possible at that time and called the Police. Infact, if
it wasn't for her, Colin
would have been arrested as well. She said the Inspector had to see the Personnel
files to prove Colin actually worked at the centre before he believed her.
It seems there's a
weird man dressing and looking like Colin causing terror in the next town.
How horrid, imagine, another person like Colin, it doesn't bare thinking
about. So, everything is
almost back to normal and only seven pupils still require counciling sessions.
So all I have left to say is
MERRY CHRISTMAS and a HAPPY 2004
More Brittas Empire Stories and Stuff in the New Year
Thanks again to Fegen and Noris and the BBC for the Brittas Empire
Where would we be without it